The Married At First Sight couples retreat is historically recognized as an opportunity to put pressure on the brides and grooms to see who cracks. As the getaway is typically less than two weeks from Decision Day, it’s an opportunity for couples that have a connection to enjoy one another and equally offers couples struggling three uncomfortable days to become even more infuriated with the process. The audience gets a glimpse into the uninhibited dysfunction of couples forced to address their incompatibility issues in front of an audience of the other four couples married that season. MAFS’ fans hedge their bets via social media on which couples who will go all the way vs the ones who have gone past the point of no return.
In seasons past on the reality series, couples without connections would find separate bedrooms and attempt to politely avoid each other for the weekend. Early in the series, experts would be available for counsel with the newlyweds throughout the six to eight weeks from the altar to decision day. As Chicago marks the 18th season,Pastor Cal,Dr. PepperandDr. Piainteracted less and less with the cast until their visits were nearly non-existent. With three couples in extreme crisis, the experts have abandoned the cast completely. During the weekend getaway, the Chicago cast made history with one of the biggest scandals in the MAFS franchise’ history, leaving one groom emotionally broken and another bride’s self-esteem shattered. A wife and husband are so unhappy in their marriages that they resort to sneaking around behind their spouses’ backs. Fans were shocked and empathized with the jilted spouses, but the true villains in the MAFS Chicago scandal are the experts’ incompetence in detonating toxic situations before they cause unnecessary emotional trauma to the cast.
The Experts Ignored the Red Flags With Ikechi And Emem’s Marriage
The weekend started with Ikechi showing up late for the first dinner of the getaway, attempting to humiliate his wife Emem with divorce papers. Ikechi and Emem’s last scene together prior to him showing up demanding to end the marriage, was a sit down with Dr Pia. The psychologist and sᴇx therapist encouraged the troubled couple to try one last time to communicate with one another although Ikechi was clear about his unhappiness with the marriage. When asked if he wanted to give up on the marriage, his response was passive-aggressive, but it was crystal clear he was done with the marriage dating back to the honeymoon.
When the couple returned to “real-life” in Chicago, Ikechi was clearly uncomfortable with Emem’s success, joking that seeing the opulence of her home made him feel depressed. The couple’s next visit with Pastor Cal was emotionally-charged, as Emem complained that Ikechi referred to her as aggressive and an “asshole.” Pastor Cal questioned Ikechi about his anger towards his wife but didn’t press the issue. Instead of realizing the gravity of Emem being left in an emotionally abusive situation, Pastor Cal glossed over the dangerous red flags and left the meeting with no resolution.
Fast-forward to Dr Pia talking to the couple before the retreat; the alienation had grown exponentially with Ikechi leaving to enjoy his college homecoming and family sans his wife. He was honest in his conversation with Dr. Pia about not feeling safe or comfortable with Emem, but instead of listening to Ikechi’s dangerous emotions, Dr Pia stuck to the MAFS script, encouraging the two to stick it out. When Ikechi shows up at the couple’s retreat with divorce papers, Emem doesn’t allow herself to respond emotionally. She looks the packet over and realizes the divorce decree is incomplete. She assures Ikechi that she is happy to sign the divorce papers but won’t sign the incomplete set. Ikechi’s attempt to humiliate Emem in front of the other couples didn’t score the way he intended it. Emem’s strong desire to be married, the pride she took in calling Ikechi her husband, and the lengths she was willing to compromise while being repeatedly gaslit, are proof she was emotionally invested in the marriage and could internalize Ikechi’s constant rejection.
The Experts Are the Real Villains In David and Madison’s Hookup
Madison and Allen have also struggled from the very beginning of their marriage. Madison, a fit bride who prioritizes her external beauty and social life, was disappointed in being paired with Allen, whom she viewed as unattractive and awkward. Madison shares her feelings with Pastor Cal, and he encourages the two to work through the rough patches. Allen is encouraged to find ways to make his wife more attracted to him under the guise of compromising. Madison minimizes Allen at every opportunity, making fun of his sense of humor, his clothes and even the way he expresses himself. Allen is patient and takes her insults in stride. Following the instructions of the experts’ instructions, he allows Madison to give him a wardrobe makeover that costs him over $3000. Unfortunately, the experts fail Allen also by encouraging him to give in to a woman who has no intention of ever giving him a chance. In fact, Madison had begun connecting with another cast mate’s husband, which she deemed a more physically attractive option.
Ikechi and Emem, and Allen and Madison’s broken marriages pale in comparison to the breakdown in David and Michelle’s marriage. Michelle has consistently expressed her disdain and disgust for her husband David all the way back to the wedding reception when she learned he lived at home with his parents. Michelle was rude to David during the honeymoon, suggesting he leave her alone for days at a time because she was struggling with their pairing. The couple meet once with Pastor Cal and once with Dr. Pia. David is encouraged to do everything within his power to allow Michelle grace in her disdain for him. He attempts to explain that he chose to live with his parents for convenience, but Michelle doesn’t find his explanation sufficient. She complains about his clothes and how he communicates with her. Instead of holding Michelle accountable for her hurtful words, the experts encourage the couple to keep trying and suggest David offer his wife even more patience in the process. The dysfunction culminates with David connecting with Madison during their secret gym dates and developing feelings behind Michelle and Allen’s backs. When David mistakenly sends Michelle a text meant for Madison, his secret crush, things begin unraveling quickly.
The Experts Didn’t Encourage David to Be Honest About His Feeling of Rejection
Determined to uncover the truth about David’s flirty text message, painting him to be the villain in the marriage, Michelle doubles down on uncovering the truth. Michelle’s relentless pursuit of the truth puts the other three couples in the middle of the drama, and Allen’s heart gets trampled in the process as collateral damage to Michelle’s victory. It’s easily the most toxic couple’s getaway in MAFS history, and the experts are nowhere to be found.
Furthermore, the experts were negligent in handling all three marriages, causing immense pain for Emem and Allen, that will undoubtedly leave emotional scars long after the season has wrapped. Dr. Pia, Pastor Cal and Dr. Pepper shows up for the couples sessions with canned responses geared towards retaining all the couples until Decision Day. The mental, emotional and even physical health of the cast are of no concern, as the experts focus on cajoling and convincing the singles to remain in the marriage, no matter how dysfunctional. There were numerous opportunities to avert the blow-up that happened during the weekend if the experts had addressed the issues in real time. Placing rhetorical bandaids over the issues and then disappearing when things fall apart or explode is negligent behavior at best. Some fans have voiced suspicions of the experts mismatching singles and avoiding red flags in order to make “good television”.
This season of MAFS has been one of the most talked about on social media, but the temporary ratings are not an even exchange for singles, leaving Decision Day broken by the process with even more emotional scars and setbacks than they possessed when they joined the show. By deflecting and ignoring the issues they witness in the marriages, the experts have committed a huge disservice to the franchise, and it’s high time for change.
